Avoid This. Do That.



We have talked about what to do or not do in terms of how you behave online, so now we will discuss certain behaviors that you should consciously try to do when you are on a date, as well as those you should avoid entirely.

Many people find texting on a date rude.  If you are out with someone, your attention should be focused on them, not on the device in your hand.  Unless it is an emergency, the YouTube video or text about your fantasy football league can wait until you are alone.  You should really watch out for this one if you tend to text or surf the web when you're nervous.  It's understandable but it is bound to make your date feel ignored and that is never good.  The same goes for the phone, though talking on the phone on a date is even ruder.
 
Dress appropriately. Avoid extremes and think about the message your outfit sends.  If you are just meeting someone, you don't need stilettos and a dress that shows half your chest.  By the same token, you aren't going to impress anyone with a sweatshirt covered in cat hair.  Even if dressing nicely is a little out of your comfort zone, try to put yourself in your date's shoes.  Is that all they think of me?  This starts a date out on the wrong note.  Too dressed up, though, and you're not going to be able to move and your date might be embarrassed - either because they feel like they can't look below the neck or because their outfit doesn't match up.  Choose clothing you like, that makes you feel good, and that conveys respect for your date.
 
Avoid excessive discussion of other people you have dated.  This is another things people sometimes do when they're nervous or want to try to impress someone.  Sorry to say that talking about a bunch of guys you've dated is more likely to depress than impress.  Your date will feel like he's being compared and (unfairly or not), he might think you are a little too ... active.  On the other hand, don't refuse to answer questions about an ex if they come up in a normal way.  If you get all icy and silent when your ex-wife's name drops, your date is probably going to assume you still have a thing for her.  A certain amount of talk about the past is normal and healthy.  
 
This might be a little controversial, but the guy should probably pay the bill.  The woman should offer but the man should pay.  Unless it's some expensive event that she invited him to, it seems cold and ungentlemanly to let her pay or to split the bill. Obviously, this shouldn't go for all dates.  A woman who never pays gets irritating fast. But there is something most people like about the traditional first date routine of having him pay.  
 
Don't bring a friend or a family member on a date.  This is your opportunity to get to know someone and let them know you.  You might think it will make you more comfortable to have a third party there, but really, it will just seem weird.  If you are planning to bring the third party because you don't want the date to go anywhere romantic, just cancel.  On the other hand, after just the two of you have dinner or drinks, if you want to meet friends after and you're having fun, by all means bring your date along.
 
Generally, limit your drinking on a date.  Even if you are having a great time, someone is bound to get sloppy if you drink too much.  You don't want to ruin a date that is going well by making an ass out of yourself.  You don't want to have to apologize the next day, and you definitely want to remember what happened!  Limit yourself to two or three drinks over the course of an evening.  Some people overdrink to calm their nerves, but this backfires too often to be sound advice.
 
Avoid certain foods.  Don't choose anything that is likely to make a big mess or be difficult to eat.  It is embarrassing to have to shovel spaghetti into your mouth while someone you barely know watches.  Try to refrain from ordering garlic bread, onions, and fish unless you have no interest in kissing your date.  Or breathing near them. Even if you love salad, if you're a woman, say no to the leaves on a date.  It it too trite for women to order "just a salad" and you may end up with leaves in your teeth.  
 
This might seem like a lot of rules, but in essence they say - be good to yourself and be good to the other person.  Simple plan for a successful date.

 

 

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Posted 05-21-2013 4:11 pm by