The First Date



And this is what it’s ALL about!

You have been exchanging messages or emails for a few weeks, months or maybe even longer and you have both got to the point where you are comfortable about the idea of actually meeting in person!The crucial thing to remember here is that you must BOTH feel comfortable with meeting up. I remember vividly my first ever internet date-and not because it was good unfortunately! The man I was planning to meet lived a long way away and was prepared to make a long trip to where I lived in order to meet. We had only ever emailed, had never spoken on the phone and if I am honest although I was very excited I was also very nervous. He came equipped with copies of bank statements, a photo of his house and a proposal of marriage! All a bit much for a first date and perhaps an extreme example but it’s completely true!I was swept up with the excitement and potential romance of it all but the reality was that he had received orders from his parents to marry quickly or risk losing his inheritance! Not an ideal first date that’s for sure!I urge you to think carefully before you meet, but on the other hand don’t drag things out for too long either.Have you got a perfect first date in mind? Do you imagine your eyes meeting and falling in love at first sight? Are you thinking about a stroll in the park? Chatting over a latte in an intimate coffee shop? Or something more cerebral such as an afternoon spent in an art gallery or museum?Well I have had ALL of these brilliant ideas for a first date and have done all of them as well as ice skating, yachting and wine tasting!  However, things have a nasty habit of not quite working out the way you planned so it’s a very good idea to have some flexibility built into your plans.Most people I have spoken to agree that the best dates they have been on were the most simple. By trying too hard to impress you can find yourself in awkward and potentially stressful situations, so keep the first date short, sweet and simple. A coffee, or drink in a local bar is straightforward and an easy expectation to manage. In time there will be plenty of opportunities to do other things and explore interests. This is the time when you need to concentrate on getting to know each other. If you indulge in a date that is complex or too unusual then this will simply serve as a distraction and you may come away from the date wondering if you are any further forward and know anything about each other at all!People often make the mistake of pulling out all the stops to try and impress someone on a first date, only to be shot down in flames when the expensive meal in a fancy restaurant fails to hide the fact that they have lied about their age! Dating can be a disappointing experience and something that leaves you with a heavy heart and a real feeling of dread when it comes to future dates. To avoid these negative feelings suggest dates that are pleasant but perfectly manageable and that will provide both of you with plenty of chances to ask questions and get to know each other.

Sarah Edwards
Freelance journalist, writer, PR/media consultant and broadcaster

 

 

 

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Posted 03-12-2013 1:48 pm by