Happy Ever After?

By this stage you will probably have come to grips with internet dating and have had a few dates that you can talk about with your friends and take experiences from that will help you decide on the kind of relationship you want, and the kind of people you would like to connect with on line.

Perhaps you have been lucky enough to have enjoyed a string of excellent dates with people who you really connected with, or perhaps you have a couple of stalkers who just won’t leave you alone. Whatever you experiences, good and bad now is the time to take a step back.It could be that you have signed up with more than one website and that what you thought you originally wanted from the experience has changed in some way. Well this is a good opportunity to have a look at what has happened so far and see how you feel about things.Start by answering the questions below to try and find out where you are with your internet dating.

  • Evaluating your experiences

How long have you been internet dating for?How many websites are you using on a regular basis?How much time are you spending each day/week/month on internet dating?How successful has the matching process been for you?How many dates have you been on?Are you planning to see anyone again?How do you feel about yourself? Confident and attractive or are you lacking in self esteem?Have you had any bad internet dating experiences? There are no right or wrong answers to these questions, but answering them will give you a really good idea of how you should now move forward. I notched up an impressive 80 dates over the course of about 12 years, and few of them could be described as completely successful! However, those experiences taught me a lot about myself and sent me back to the dating drawing board on more than one occasion to re-write my profile, change my websites or upload a different photo. It really is a learning curve and there is no right or wrong way to do it. If you want to have a few dates each week you will have to invest more time than someone who is only hoping for one or two dates a month, but really the amount of time you invest in the search for online romance is only limited by your time and capacity to go out and have dates.If you have found that you are spending a lot of time on line but not actually getting very far then perhaps you should consider either changing websites for a while, or actually being bold and making the first move to ask someone out. Otherwise you could be waiting forever! Although it can be a bit scary to have to be the one to take the bull by the horns, it could be the best move you ever made and let’s face it-what’s the worst that can happen? OK so they may say no, so just move on to the next one! A good friend once told me that dating is a numbers game-and that’s very true! With the amount of people now there in cyberspace looking for love, there are no excuses for lining up a few dates and seeing how you get on.Perhaps it’s a good time to re visit your profile and photo and see if a few tweaks or updates here and there could make a difference to your success with matches. Perhaps you are now feeling a bit more confident than you were a few months ago so you are now more able to sing your praises and talk positively about yourself. Perhaps you really have learned a bit more about yourself as well. After all, I consider internet dating to have been an important part of my personal development plan and you should too. It isn't all plain sailing but you do learn a lot about what you will tolerate, what you are interested in and, most importantly, what makes you happy.Internet dating gets a lot of bad press, but I know many people who have found love on line. In fact at the end of last year my own cousin, Alison met the love of her life Guy, on line and we all enjoyed a fabulous family wedding. I wish them all the love and luck in the world and I think the fact that they met on line, defied the odds and proved that love can be found and flourishes in cyberspace speaks volumes about how internet dating is developing all the time. Far from being a guilty secret to be hidden from friends and family, it is fast becoming a sophisticated and finely tuned portal for everything from casual dates to marriage proposals and should be considered to be the modern way to meet people and find love.

Sarah Edwards
Freelance journalist, writer, PR/media consultant and broadcaster 




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