How It Works

Sites use all kinds of software to ‘scientifically’ match you with potential partners. excels because it is a personalized match making service.The way you build your profile will determine how you are matched up and who you are matched with so it is important to be clear and honest when you submit your details. Most sites allow profile updates to be made so if you make a mistake you can always log in and make corrections, amendments or additions.If you just bumped into someone in the street and your eyes met and then something was muttered about having a coffee or a drink sometime and then you exchanged phone numbers, chances are that when you regaled your friends with this tale-they wouldn’t be too alarmed. In fact they would probably tell you to go for it and enjoy yourself.However, how would the same friends react to the news that you had met someone on line, had exchanged a few emails and were planning to meet for a drink? With option 1 you know nothing about each other-you have literally just bumped into each other. There is no previous contact, no profile matching-it’s a chance liaison.With the online option, some kind of background has already been established. You have probably met on line because your profiles suited each other and you wanted the same thing, shared the same interests and so on. The point here is this-personal safety is important no matter how you are meeting people.When it comes to safety on line-before that all important first date-there are also some tips to consider to ensure you stay safe on line.

1. When you build your profile be honest and clear about who you would like to meet.

2. Most dating sites have a strict code of conduct but not all, so be aware of this when you join and spend some time looking at other profiles first to see how much or little information they offer. If you don’t feel comfortable revealing as much as other users are, then move on and try a different site.

3.  Take things slowly and no matter how fabulous your first matches are or how flattered you feel by the attention you may get, don’t be too quick to give out your personal contact details. All websites give you the option to continue contact through their secure systems and it is a good idea to do this early on.

4. If the attention you receive is not quite what you hoped for and you feel uncomfortable and awkward about the type of messages you are receiving then block the person who is contacting you. Sometimes, even when it is blindingly obvious to you that what you have is certainly not a match made in heaven-or cyber space-the other party may just find that difficult to accept. The easiest way to deal with this is to block them-and that is why it is CRUCIAL not to give out your details until you are confident that you will want to meet up.

5. If the worst happens and you do find yourself being bothered by someone who you would rather not be in touch with any more, contact your email and mobile phone provider for information and advice about how to block people from contacting you.So is there really much science involved when it comes to matching single people searching for love? Basically you fill in your details and you indicate the kind of person you would like to meet, their age, eye colour, even their body shape and their interests, occupation and believe it or not...their salary! Then the matching process begins and hooks up like minded people with the hope that they will get along just fine and have a long, happy life together forever after!Of course the reality is that despite your personal preferences you may be excluding some potential matches for the very reason that you are being a little too specific. I call this the Check Box Syndrome and I have seen many, many single girlfriends adopt this approach to their dating careers. For various reasons, often based on previous bad experiences with men, they decide that what they want is someone with loads of money aged up to 45 (but no older), who is a successful businessman, with children who are independent (in other words-grown up and off their hands) who is available for fancy nights out and weekends at top resorts. Some of my girlfriends hit the jackpot-they got exactly what they wanted-or what they THOUGHT they wanted-or thought they SHOULD have for whatever reason. Some of this comes down to acceptance by their social circle, some of it comes down to the fact that they truly want a financial lifeboat to rescue them and float off to some far flung life of luxury. But the thought of dating a plumber with an average income who is kind and funny with a couple of children who are still at school would horrify them-even though in some cases they have ended up in the lap of luxury-but seriously unhappy with life.The point here is to be realistic about your matching criteria-after all-few of the girlfriends I mentioned above had the same financial or domestic status as the men they were trying to meet. Consequently they had little in common with each other. Be flexible and if you make small compromises to widen your search and meet more interesting people you may find that the person you end up with, is not who you were looking for at all but is just perfect for you. And after all, your future relationship is up to you-it’s not about dating people just because of what your friends think of them, or because you have to compete with them. It’s about being happy with someone who you trust and want to build some memories with. And remember, meeting online may well be the start of something wonderful, but it’s what happens off line that will determine how your relationship really works out. 

Sarah Edwards
Freelance journalist, writer, PR/media consultant and broadcaster



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Posted 03-12-2013 6:44 pm by