How to Relax Before a Date

A date with someone new is often a high-anxiety proposition - particularly if you are really interested.

And is anyone really their best when nervous?  Some of the following ideas are very helpful for relaxing before a date.  Let us know what has worked for you.
1.  Exercise.  This is a great way to chill out before meeting someone new.  Schedule a meet-up for a couple of hours after work, or on the weekend, so you have a chance to jog or go to the gym beforehand.  You get the endorphins flowing, you get a little distance from the day's stresses, and it makes you feel good mentally and physically, so you are relaxed and confident for your first encounter with a new person.  If you don't have much time, do a few push-ups or dance around your kitchen to a favorite song!
2.  Talk to friends.  A friend of mine recommended this tactic.  She was a very busy attorney, so she never had time to prepare for dates, but she always budgeted in five minutes for a chat with a good friend before she met someone new.  Talking to a friend gives you the opportunity to vent about nerves before you meet your date.  It loosens you up and gives you self-confidence.  Even if the date isn't great, you know who you are and who you have in your life outside any potential romance.  Try to have a conversation that makes you laugh.  Nothing makes you feel better than humor.  
3.  Read something romantic.  Obviously, you don't want to get ahead of yourself, but do try to remember that a date is supposed to be romantic and fun.  It is not a business proposition, so lighten up - read a Shakespearean sonnet, a Yeats poem, or the chapter in "Gone With the Wind" when Rhett sweeps Scarlett upstairs.  Go into your date feeling hopeful and alert to the potential of beauty in the world.  
4.  Wear perfume or cologne.  Researchers have concluded that scent is the most evocative of the senses and many friends love this method for getting in the mood.  A dab of a perfume or aftershave you like can make you feel good by reminding you of past times while appealing to your date.  Please remember that dousing yourself in Axe is not what I am talking about.  Go for something clean and subtle.  If you have a signature scent, by all means apply that.  Just remember that in the realm of scent, a hint is the best way to go.
5.  Have ONE drink.  This is time-tested and works well for relaxation.  A glass of wine or a cocktail before a date is great for relieving stress and putting the day's worries behind you.  This does not mean you should down airplane bottles in the restroom or chug cocktails at the bar because your date is behind schedule.  Drink something that is not overly alcoholic, that you like, and that you know has a good effect on you.  No Jagermeister shots.  You do not want to reek of booze or embarrass yourself.  
6.  Meditate or visualize.  Some people meditate before bed every night because it helps them sleep, but a buddy told me he does the same thing before any date with a girl he thinks he might really like.  Turn down the lights, get quiet and either play a guided medidation or do your own visualization of how you want the date to go.  This should slow your heart rate, lower your blood pressure, and reduce muscle tension by increasing blood flow.  All of this will serve to center you and increase confidence for your date.  If you are an old hand at meditation, try to visualize the perfect date.  Novices should buy a guided meditation CD or search the web for one you like.



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Posted 04-18-2013 11:12 pm by